What To Do When You Can’t Breathe

I don’t know what I want. All I know is I can’t breathe. I just want to breathe again.

Some variation of this theme shows up in my conversations with clients, friends, and strangers about 5 times a week.

People feel tight. Constricted. Heavy. BUT! BUT!!…It’s the new year!

Aren’t we supposed to feel light, ready for a fresh start? Well, it doesn’t feel fresh. It feels like the same old bullshit we’ve been dealing with forever.

Why isn’t anything different?!

Here’s why: humans are incredible at powering through terrible, mind-numbing, chaotic situations.

De-sensitized is the word. Things that other people wouldn’t put up with become normal after a while.

Things that are, in a sense, EFFED UP become our norm. If this sounds like you, I want you to know: it’s not. your. fault.

Life gets lifey, and we’ve got shit to take care of. So we put our heads down & grind out the stuff we need to do. We stop noticing.

Fail to see our exhaustion. Not taking care of ourselves. Not reaching our goals. Mishandling our time and numbing out to ease the pain.

You might not have noticed that there IS any pain…until…Until it’s the “New Year” and you’re supposed to have a “New You!”, right?

Like, wait a damn minute. How am I supposed to get a “New Me” when everything around me is falling apart and I’m barely keeping it together?

By the time people come to me, they’ve been heavy lifting for so long that they can’t see any way out of it all. Here’s how this shows up:

The entrepreneur who needs to hire a social media manager & assistant, but “doesn’t have time” to do that. The only way out is to keep doing everything herself, right?

  • The business owner with nothing left for himself, burned out & overwhelmed. The only way out is to work harder because that’s how you fix things, right?

  • The mom in a soul-sucking job wants to open her own business but she’s tied to the money she makes. The only way out is to work harder & get promoted, right?

How are they supposed to become a “New Me”, when they can barely function with “Current Me?” And they haven’t seen “Old Me” in months, maybe years!

THIS, my friends, is the question I asked myself almost two years ago.  I’d trained everyone to know I could do too much. I could take care of ALL THE THINGS.

There was nothing left for the things that filled up my lungs (or my heart). How could I change it?! It felt hopeless. This was my bed. I’d made it. And in it, I must sleep.

Ha! There was no time for sleep. There was no way out. Right? WRONG.

There’s something you NEED, want. And you don’t know how to get it.

(I couldn’t see it. That’s fer sher.)

You can’t see how. You can’t see the path out. You’re too far inside of it.

We’re talking forests & trees. In the middle of the forest, you have ZERO perspective.

But there is someone in your life who is willing to see it for you. There is someone to reach out to: your nonjudgmental best friend? Your therapist? An online group you joined?

I’ll tell you who it’s NOT: it’s not your spouse or partner. That person is as far into the forest as you are. That person just wants the Old You back. They miss you.

Believe me, please. My husband, a business coach with a 30,000-foot view of perspective, gave me advice that I ignored for FOUR DAMN YEARS.

When I finally caught my breath, found my coach, saw my patterns, and made changes, my husband was THRILLED! He said, “Oh my God! THERE YOU ARE!! I’ve missed you.”

I missed me too. It was good to be back.  Here I Am!

And there you are.

Ready to get that sip of air you’re dying for? Reach out for your free Discovery Session if you’re ready to get some air.


Register for this workshop! (It’s a good one – if I do say so m’self!) You’ll learn how to help you find you again.


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