I did not want to have kids.
My mom & dad had kids. 😳 Obv. 🙄 And we were giant pains in the ass. Life seemed really hard. And stressful. I didn’t want my life to be like that.
Fast Forward to my first date with John, after 4 years of platonic friendship.
I told him, “Look, I don’t really want kids. And you’re a kid kind of guy. So, if you think you want to have kids, that’s ok.
But I’m not your girl.”
Turns out I was his girl and things worked out nicely for us…BUT…
Because I’ve always known what I DON’T want, I judged it as a negative aspect of my personality.
I don’t want to get married to a guy who won’t let me be me. But I didn’t know much more about how my marriage would work than that.
I don’t want to have an insane wedding that costs a lot of money. But I didn’t know much more about how my wedding would look than that.
Does this resonate with you?
1. I never really knew what I wanted, so I avoided making goals. And stayed stuck
2. I sure as hell knew what I did NOT want! But felt that was too negative.
Knowing what you DO NOT want is as important as knowing what you DO want!
Especially if you’re like me – someone who was always unsure of what she wanted. It was kind of a joke among my friends and me.
Do you know what you want? It’s ok that you don’t know. Many people don’t!
Maybe you’ve been using that as a reason excuse for far too long.
Don’t be fooled by the highlight reel of everyone else’s life. We’re all trying to figure out what we want.
Today, think about what you do NOT want.
- What are your non-negotiables?
- What will you no longer put up with?
- What – one year from now – would you like to not have to deal with anymore?
Snow? Your commute?
Her shitty attitude? His tendency to cheat?
Being broke? A job you loathe?
Make a list of all the things you no longer want to deal with. Don’t worry about HOW you will figure this out! (That was a different blog!)
Take time to think about what you DO NOT WANT. “All I know is, I don’t want to _________.”
Finish that sentence. For yourself. Over and over.
These are your Anti-Goals, the first step to figuring some shit out. Watch more about them here.
Need help? I live for working through this stuff! Reach out for a Discovery Session. I can help you dip a toe into the world of getting the things that will make you happy.
You deserve that. Happiness is not just for other people. Happiness is for you.