I was doing something I’d never done before. We had 9,000 square feet of wide open space in our fitness studio, and I was dancing. 💃🏼
It was the first time in two years that I felt free enough to do anything like this. I’d put down my work, cranked up Flo Rida, and danced!
My best friend – one of my business partners – caught me dancing & looked at me with a smile – and a little sadness.
She said, “That’s the first time I’ve heard you laugh like YOU in a looong time. You don’t seem happy anymore.”
I stopped, out of breath, put my hands on my hips, and dipped my head to the side. It’s my I’m considering what you’re saying but I think you’re full of bullshit stance.
My days consisted of getting up at 4:30am getting to the studio by 5. I’d run things all day long – behind the scenes and at the front desk – priding myself on how much I could get done.
During times of heavy traffic, “working” meant being there for clients. During slow times, I could really cross shit off my list. I was doing it all, 7 days a week, and calling it “passion.”
My VERY supportive husband understands start up life – and though he didn’t bat an eye when many nights I’d get home at 7:30pm, I may as well not have been there.
I’d eat, say hi to my family, and then get back to work because the load was crushing.
I was incredibly productive. We’d built something really amazing.
But I had no life.
I thought that owning a business meant I had to work all the time. I didn’t deserve to take a moment off because we weren’t making a profit.
Also, I have two fatal flaws:
- I like to be the best at whatever I do.
- I really love to work.
These characteristics are useful – until they go unchecked. Then I get knocked out of whack.
Back to me standing there, looking at Leslie, hands on my hips.
Dammit, I thought. She’s right. I don’t remember the last time I laughed. Listened to music just for the sake of listening to music. Had dinner with my family…without my phone! Or laptop.
I marvel at how focused I was, how productive I could be. How hard I really worked.
I marvel at what we built during that time.
And looking back, I see that I could’ve eased up.
But I didn’t know how. I didn’t think I could take my hand off the wheel.
I didn’t know how to have a business and a life.
My marriage suffered. My son suffered. My relationship with my best friend suffered.
Has something taken over your life?
How long has it been since you’ve felt happy? Fulfilled? Peaceful?
What would it feel like to be able to breathe again?
Every day I help men & women overcome the overwhelm suffocating them. I watch them achieve their goals. Impress themselves.
It is my mission to never get to that place again for myself – and help as many people avoid it for themselves!
The best thing Leslie did that day was help me notice that I wasn’t breathing.
Are you? Breathing, I mean.