My sweet nieces love to look at old high school pics of my sister & me.
Ooof. It was not a good time for hair or eyewear.
Or – apparently – Jen Grimm.
In any photo of me from 1981 – 1992, I look like a miserable jerk.
I mean – it’s not just the lack of the smile. That’s a downright SCOWL. I look mean. Unhappy. Hateful.
My nieces don’t know me as Scowly Aunt Jen.
They think I’m nice. They’ve only known adult Aunt Jen.
I mean – I’m not fooling anyone or being phony: they know I don’t put up with any shit, have strong boundaries, and am direct as hell, but they see me as happy, kind, funny, and inclusive.
And that’s not who I used to be.
When I talk about my old self – my negative, sarcastic, unhappy self – they worry about me. They think I’m “badmouthing” myself. They think I’m talking shit about myself.
And it concerns them. They hate to hear me badmouth my former self.
But I’m really ok with seeing who I used to be. I’ve done a lot of work around this topic, and it was not easy.
I used to say sarcastic, mean things.
I used to talk about people behind their backs.
I used to hate myself.
I used to judge others – and myself.
I was funny, but in a cutting, sardonic, dark manner.
I’m not that person anymore. And I couldn’t have gotten to where I am without having been “Scowly Aunt Jen.”
I’m at peace with it. Know why?
Because who I used to be does not define who I can become.
It says nothing about my potential.
Who do I want to be? I get to decide.
Who do you want to be?
What do you want to create?
What would make your life better?
You get to decide.
I know it feels like you don’t get to decide.
It feels like your life happens to you.
It feels like you don’t get any choice.
I thought that for a looooong time. I thought, “Well, I’m a sarcastic person. That’s WHO I AM. And if you don’t like me, Fuck Off.”
My truth was that I was a judgmental person, a person who didn’t deserve love from a good man, a person who couldn’t make money.
And because I told myself that was my truth, I didn’t believe I could change it. For decades, really.
So many things led me to seeing possibilities for myself – no one “a-ha moment” defines it.
But it’s why I’m passionate about this message:
You get to be whomever you want to be.
Do you want to be an artist?
Do you want to bring a new you forth?
You can. Decide on who you want to be. And let the old version of yourself know that it’s ok – she mattered. She helped you get here.
What are you ready to bring into the world?
Need support? My new online coaching program The Idea Space is designed to help women like you get their ideas out of their head & into the world.
It can be scary to create the dream. It feels lonely & confusing. I put this group together to help women become who they want to be. Want to learn more? Let’s have a quick chat. Painless & free.