A sure way to stop unconscious self-sabotage

Did you know we do things because of how we THINK it will make us feel?

For example, imagine a plate of chocolate brownies homemade by my stepmom.

{She makes a MEAN chocolate brownie. Irresistible.}

I THINK that if I eat that brownie, (or plate of brownies – let’s be real) it will make me feel filled up. Satisfied.

I think that it will make me feel happy.

That’s it, man. If I eat the brownie, I will be happy.

That’s the thought, anyway. Because, can we just talk about what comes after I eat the brownie?

It is most definitely NOT happiness. It is NOT a warm, fuzzy, filled-up feeling.

It is SHAME> anger! Disgust. Regret.

It is UGH.

Do you know what would make me actually feel HAPPY? To not eat the brownie!

#irony!

Ok, maybe your drug of choice is not brownies.

But you do everything because you THINK it will make you feel a certain way.

For example, a client of mine has a story that if she looks at her finances, she will feel out of control, upset, and ashamed.

So, she avoids looking at spreadsheets, bills, and information from her accountant because she does not want to feel out of control, upset, and ashamed.

BUT!!

Do you know what she feels because she avoids it?

Out of control, upset, and shamed. (Um. Hello? Is this not her worst-case scenario coming true?)

She reported to our Mastermind group that once she changed her mindset and actually looked at the bills, etc., she felt empowered, strong, and excited about what she saw there!

When she actually looked at the bills, she felt the opposite of what she thought she would feel.

Her thoughts didn’t align with her feeling!

We only THINK we will feel a certain way – but many times, our thoughts are working against us! How do you know if you’re doing this?

Question 1:

What are you DOING because of how you THINK it will make you FEEL?

Question 2:

Are you actually getting that feeling? If not, what do you need to change?

Consider this…

Do you avoid scaling your business because you think making more money will make you feel ashamed?

(I bet you already feel shame because you’re not making enough money. Your worst-case scenario has come true!)

Do you keep yourself small because you think showing up & being seen will make you feel vulnerable?

(I bet you’re already vulnerable in some other way because you stay small & hide. Your worst-case scenario has come true!)

You don’t have to overhaul your actions in one day! These small, subconscious ways we sabotage ourselves keep us pretty stuck. We can’t deal with ‘em all in an afternoon.

But we can get started!

What is it you keep doing because you think the outcome is going to be better (or worse!) than it actually will be?

Start with one little thing. Not too big. Not too risky. And play around.

Try not eating the brownie.

See how you feel.

I bet you feel a little happier.

And, really, what else do you want to feel?

If you are a woman with a goal you want to achieve – but your thoughts are telling you “HELL NO!” – reach out! I can help you get it in a way that works for you & your life…

Seriously. Yes. You. Can