Are you feeling left out in the cold, alone?
We’re in the first week of February, and if you live in the Northeast, you’re probably cold. February is a dark month: preparations for New Year’s Eve feels like a year ago, and the shininess of our resolutions has worn off.
In February - especially in Syracuse, NY where I live - people are sick of the weather - and they’re also sick of themselves.
That’s why it’s usually the busiest month in my practice: I meet lots of people ready to make changes in their lives - and so they connect with me!
I’ve been thinking about my own connecting a lot lately. I’ve come to realize that when I lack connection, I feel at my lowest, saddest, and most empty.
When I’m disconnected from my husband, my son, my best friend - or even my colleagues - I get in a heavy, low, and unproductive space. This is what loneliness does.
In these moments, I tell myself I’m craving a full day to do nothing. And in the winter in Central New York, it’s EASY to do nothing! Especially if you don't have someone dragging your ass out of the house!
I’m not a skier. I don’t like to be cold. I’m not much for adventure.
But being alone for an entire day is ironically the opposite of what I need.
So what happens when my son & husband leave for the mountain every Saturday and Sunday morning at 8 to ski? Well, last year at this time I would stay in my robe, next to the fire, and be alone all day.
Kind of sounds amazing, right?
But for me, if I’m being honest, a full day of that actually depletes my energy. I need a little of that, but I also need to do some connecting with others to fill me up!
By the end of winter last year, I was feeling pretty bad about things because I was so incredibly lonely. And when I’m lonely, I’m unproductive. I waste a lot of time.
I spend a lot of time on social media - Netflix bingeing - or overeating - or over shopping. Those are the ways I hide from my loneliness. How about you?
How is it possible to be married and a mother and a friend and a coach - and be active in my relationships - and still feel lonely?
Oh, girl. It’s SO possible! You can be surrounded by people and responsibility and still feel lonely!
For me, one of the easiest places for me to feel isolated is in regard to my business.
As a solopreneur, I’m often isolated. I work long hours alone, in my home office, without seeing another soul.
Don't get me wrong: this is my dream! I don’t want to go back to a classroom & be surrounded by students and colleagues, nor do I want to work in a busy, noisy office.
This is exactly what I picked. And sometimes exactly what we pick for ourselves can be challenging.
Being alone is problematic for me because I’m an extrovert, which means I get energy from being around others. If I’m alone too long, I become lethargic and paralyzed.
When I’m paralyzed by isolation, I do not make my dreams real. I do not bring my ideas to life.
I do not meet my goals.
This month, I’m talking all things ISOLATION - and how it keeps us from our dreams.
Start to notice where you’re feeling alone. And see how it’s keeping you from making your deepest dreams a reality.
Now? I spend time looking for evidence that I'm lonely. I want to see it so I can do something about it!
‘Cuz you know I love getting my goals!
As we go through this month, look for places where you’re not connecting with yourself - or others. And notice how it’s keeping you from your goals rather than moving your forward.
And if you’re ready to move forward with some support, it’s time to reach out for a Consultation Call. If you’re a woman ready to cut through your bullshit, these free consults are there for you.
This free strategic call focuses on clarifying your goals, understanding where you're stuck, & knowing how to prioritize next steps. You'll leave feeling clearer & knowing where to head next.
