Have you ever been sick of yourself - or someone else?
Have you ever been sick of yourself?
Like, everything is shitty and if you could just clear the decks and start over, you’d get it right this time?
I’ve tried this. Done it with jobs. Food. Exercise.
Some people do it with social circles or friend groups. Or relationships.
It often starts with the thought, “This time I’m going to…” Or, “I’ll never do ______ again.”
This is the Life Overhaul. And there are definitely people who it works for.
Some of my community college students do this. Rebrand themselves completely. A special few who failed out of high school come to college as a new person, killing it with grades & assignments, effectively pulling off the rebrand!
But here’s the thing I’ve learned about Life Overhauls: they don’t stick – for most of us.
A few people in the population can get jolted into a huge overhaul.
For most of us, the energy, momentum, and willpower required to pull this off feels inhumane. Unsustainable. Exhausting.
For me – and most of my clients – the Life Overhaul is not a useful strategy because it makes us feel like shit about ourselves.
Case in point: When I left Method 360 Fitness, I said, “I’m not going to overwork EVER AGAIN. I’m not going to give insane amounts of time to a job. I’m going to be more present for my family.”
I went back to teaching and promptly overdid. Overworked. Overgave.
Very, very quickly I saw I was in the same damn situation!
This is my pattern. Even a clean slate – leaving one job to start a new job – didn’t cure me.
I overwork to avoid things I don’t want to do. That includes – for me – exercising, taking care of myself, making dinner for my family.
I don’t find those things fun. I find working fun. {I know. I’m so lame.} Taking care of students and clients is more fun than – say – going for a walk or planning dinners.
If you have patterns that keep you stuck, i.e. overeating, overdrinking, overshopping, wasting time, being late – whatever your particular drug of choice is…I promise, the Life Overhaul is not your cure.
A clean slate IS a great place to shift! It’s a great place to start!
But you need to know what you’re likely to do to cheat on yourself.
I always think a Life Overhaul is going to save me from my bad habits.
“I’m going to start working out at 5:30am at a studio 25 minutes away every single morning.”
Consider this: I haven’t worked out regularly in over a year. I also hate the way that 5:30am feels like the middle of the night.
And. SNOW.
Is this likely to stick?
Hell. No.
Can we be realistic AND kind to ourselves. We have so much mental exhaustion – decision fatigue – because we have a lot going on in our brains. We must be kind in order to be effective.
So, here’s a practice to try:
- Know what you want. Say it out loud. Write it down. Tell someone, for God’s sake.
- Make the decision to chip away at it every single day. Put it in the calendar. Even for 15 minutes.
- DO IT. {This is the being kind to yourself You actually have to DO the thing.}
You. Can. Handle. It.
What you can no longer handle is this frustration & disappointment that comes from trying to constantly implement the Life Overhaul..
Go out there. Do one thing. Kick ass at it…You’ll love how you feel.
It doesn’t have to be big – but it does have to be done.
Make one micro shift & create macro change in your life.
Want some help navigating these waters? I’m launching an online group coaching program to help you overcome that overwhelmed, frazzled, & scattered feeling you have each day!
If you feel panic about time, are constantly behind the 8-ball, and get anxious about how to get it all done, this online coaching group will be perfect for you!
Nab one of the available 25 beta-spots at a $97 price/month.
Want to get on the waitlist & learn more? Email me: [email protected]
I’m happy to set up a conversation to see if this will be a good fit for your needs
