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My addiction to the invisible finish line

I’ve got a little habit that’s becoming an ugly addiction - 

I could put a stop to it…but I’m simply not doing much about it.

Around 9:15ish every night, I give a big yawn & say G’night to my husband & son –

They’re eager to start watching something violent and distasteful – so they gleefully blow kisses my way…

‘NIGHT, Mom!

‘NIGHT, Babes.

The dog follows me. The cats follow me.

And I am FINALLY ALONE.

I crawl into bed and…

open up Tik Tok.

Once there, for a glorious HOUR, I scrollllll. Enjoying the dancing, the positivity, the ridiculousness –

Basking in the anonymity - because I’m not following a SOUL I know – everyone is a stranger to me, but also a friendly face.

On my For You Page, a skit plays out of New Year’s Eve 2020-….

Picture this: the Countdown begins. 10…9….3…2..1 🎉 🍾

And the clock changes from 11:59

To 11:60.

And 2020 KEEPS FRIGGIN GOING>

The joke played on, but I had to scroll away. I couldn’t BEAR the thought of it!

Seriously. I was disturbed – but WHY?  The video was silly. Ridiculous.

Why did it cut so close for me?

It made me realize I’ve created a FINISH LINE for all this BULLSHIT:

December 31st, 2020.

Hmph.

I’ve been expecting this year to miraculously come to an end because of my ridiculous mental markers.

These invisible finish lines where I believed FER SHER shit would be ‘back to normal’.

“Summer 2020.” Yup. I fantasized that we’d have a normal summer.

 Then – when that blew up, I DEFINITELY thought September was the big one! Because – helllooooo- September is the New January, right? I get to start over again.

NOPE>

I’m doing it again! Holding on to New Years, 2020 – fantasizing the bells will chime, the ball will drop, and POOF!

Are you doing this too? (Is it just me?)

Here’s why I’m doing it: relief just will not COME.

All around me – my friends, my clients, my city, the country - the world – there is no relief for too many people. 

The hits keep coming. Really serious shit like -

People struggling with trauma that’s finally risen to the surface…

Forest fires choking out the sun & weighing down the air…

Businesses closing down… 

I’m talking about how vital it is to talk about & normalizing what we’re struggling with because shoving it down doesn’t get us to the next place we want to go. 

The weight, the sadness – it’s GRIEF. 

Now, 136 years ago, in April, I did an INCREDIBLY helpful interview with Life Coach Jess Ryan – 

Who’s trained & has an expertise in GRIEF.

What it is. What it isn’t. And how to deal –

FOR REAL.

She TAUGHT SO MUCH that it brought be RELIEF.

 

Our interview is one of my most watched videos ever – and it’s time to share it with you here.

If you’ve been feeling knocked out, dragged down, crawling towards a finish line that keeps moving on you –

You MUST listen to what she shares.

It was not only informative and educational – IT WAS HOPEFUL.

You’ll walk away with a shift in how to deal with the landscape we’re in right now –

 

Please watch it here – or listen to it on my podcast.

 

It’s important that we acknowledge & normalize what we’re going through, because

shoving away our REAL emotions –

Never giving them space…

Not sitting with them…

Well, I can tell you personally – and professionally from working with my clients –

It is this shoving away that causes pain.

Jessica takes us through HOW to move with the pain – to move through it…

You can reply to me and tell me the #1 thing you’re frustrated with, fearful of, and angry about – I’m here to merely receive it…

Because saying it to SOMEONE might be a helpful first step toward feeling a little bit better…

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