When you become an entrepreneur, you quickly realize that no one is sitting in an office waiting to give you permission to try something new.

So we wind up seeking insight, feedback, & validation for our ideas.

Spending TONS of time & money on courses or systems that work for other people...but maybe not for us!

This contributes to feeling exhausted in our businesses!

That’s why this month, I’m diving into ways to stop burning yourself out, especially when it comes to content creation in your business marketing!

Because the most important thing you can do right now is get your energy up & focus clearly so you can feel good about where you’re headed next!

Let's put an end to the marketing churn out & burnout! In a mere 13 minutes, learn several realistic strategies you can implement & see some results to make your life & business easier!

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Full Transcript

Today I am talking about how to stop asking permission and why we want to do this. 

What it really looks like, how it affects our content, how it affects our businesses, and the really big reason I'm actually talking about this is because December is a month where it's really easy to burn out.

We've not only got a lot going on with our families, with our holidays, with all of the expectations that we have for ourselves and that other people have of us.

But also it's a time of year where people are often saying: 

“What's going to happen in 2022?”
“I need to get my act together for January.”
“I need to be ready to go for January!”

And I used to do that too. 

What I found is that energy, especially when 2020 hit, and then again when 2021 hit, I thought I was supposed to be so ready, I was raring to go.

And then there were lots of other plans in store for me…

So today I want to talk about this idea of asking permission and validation.

I want to start with this scene from the 70s where my sister, who was  the Queen of “Bye Mom, I'm going out to play,” and she would leave, hop on her banana seat and drive off on her bike. 

Only, like, moments later, my mom would register that Tracy had said something to her. 

Then my mom would yell down like, “Don't go out until you finish the vacuuming.”

But my sister was gone and she didn't really wait around for permission.

It gave her this freedom in her life to just do what she wants to do. 

And I have been kind of 180 degrees different from my sister, always waiting on approval, like 

“Did the vacuum tracks on the seafoam green carpeting match up exactly? Please give me validation,” so that I could go out and play.

And really, what I've come to understand is that seeking validation is another form of looking for permission. 

Now I have done this. 

I don't even know when it started.

But I remember seeking approval and validation from my teachers way back when. 

I remember even being brokenhearted, when my 6th-grade teacher, Mrs. Wilson, was really disappointed in something that I did.

And then it never really stopped from there.

Babysitting jobs, after-school jobs, summer jobs, and then, of course, my professional life as a hospital grant administrator. 

There was a woman in my office who was really she was older than me. She had a law degree and a PhD. She had a business degree.

She was really amazing to me.

I was always seeking her validation.

Then, of course, I became a teacher. In the districts I worked in they were highly regulated because of parent involvement, and so if you wanted to teach something that was off the “dead white man curriculum” you really had to get a lot of permission.

I was always seeking validation from those who were kind of in charge of me. 

So what I realized is this idea of seeking permission is kind of a safety nets that we want to put in place for ourselves. 

It means maybe somebody has our back. Maybe there's somebody standing next to us, and if it all goes to shit, at least we're not the only one, right? 

Like somebody told us, this was a good idea.

 So it's almost like having permission or seeking permission is like having an expert next to you. 

That said, “Great idea. Move forth. It's bound to work out.“

Then, as you know, you start your own business and at some point, the truth settles in pretty quickly that nobody's sitting in an office somewhere waiting to give you permission. 

As an entrepreneur, you might seek permission or validation or approval from a coach, a mentor, a marketing team, your business manager, but here's the truth about that:

1. No one can promise you that any specific strategy or tactic will work 100% to help you reach your goals.
2. Nobody who gives you advice really has any power over you. 

They can't make sure that you're going to do this thing because even if your beloved, well-trusted, well-respected mentor gives you permission, no one is holding your feet to the fire to actually do the thing. 

Ultimately, everything rests in your hands as an entrepreneur. 

Now, some entrepreneurs absolutely love this part of being an entrepreneur.

They love it.
They don't have to get permission from anyone.
They can go be their rebel, maverick-self and be as spontaneous as they want to.
And it sounds great to them. 

But what I found from a lot of entrepreneurs is it is exactly not having that safety net not having any real permission that is so overwhelming and paralyzing to them.

So this is what burns people out all month. 

I want to talk about ways that we can reduce the burnout, especially when it comes to creating content for our business marketing, because it really can feel like a huge churn that burns us out. 

So the most important thing you can do right now to have a successful 2022 is get your energy where it needs to be.

Where you feel full.
Where you can show up at your 100%.
Where you can focus clearly so that you feel good about where you're headed next.

And you can't do that if you're depleted. 

If you are like me and have had a habit of waiting for permission or seeking permission, that has probably contributed to your exhaustion in your business so you get it right. 

But why is giving ourselves permission such a tiring, difficult thing? 

Well, think about your past.
Think about the decisions that you've made that haven't worked out.
Where you screwed up or did the wrong thing. 

Whatever you've done has cost you time, money, energy, or even it might have cost you a relationship.

Now, because of that, it's incredibly hard to trust yourself. 

So no wonder we start seeking permission from others who have been there who claim they have the expertise. 

They have the right system. 

Basically, we're always looking for somebody with a proven silver bullet, a method that will work for us. 

Now, this seeking can really burn you out, because if you try strategy after strategy, tactic after tactic, buying course after course - you're never actually seeing any progress.

Then you know, you're probably stuck in a permission-seeking loop, and that probably means you have also tried some strategies or tactics that you don't enjoy.

But they seem to work for other people, so you do it and you completely feel out of alignment.

Or you don't trust that you could make a decision that works for you. 

So I want you to stop here. 

If any of this is resonating, it's time to get a little bit honest with yourself and say, 

“Am I a permission seeker?”

Now, I'm going to say before I really sat down and thought about outlining this podcast for you, I would never have put myself in the camp of a high level permission seeker.

But when I started looking back at my history and I had example, after example, just come right up. 

I was like, “I am a validation seeker. I'm an approval seeker.”

I don't think a lot of people would necessarily think that about me at first glance, because I'm always talking about “Doing it your way.” But I want you to understand I had to admit this to myself.

So I want you to give yourself the gift of acknowledging if this is true for you also, because it's very normal. It's okay. And it's just a habit. 

Remember, we can't change any of our habits until we become aware of them. 

So that's the very first thing.

Do you seek outside permission or validation?
Are you looking for somebody to give you the acceptance that you're looking for?
To sign off on it almost like a permission slip?

And then the second thing is, do you also see how searching for outside permission really comes from you not trusting yourself? 

And this is what will exhaust you, because I'm sure you've already seen there is no shortage of experts out there promising you that if you just do X, you're going to get the Y that you're looking for.

The solution that you really want.

So first you have to admit that to yourself, and then you would have to say, “Okay, fine. This is me.”

What am I going to do about it?
How do we get out of this permission-seeking habit? 

Well, it's merely all about building our trust back with ourselves, and the best place when we're starting to build trust back with ourselves when we've been cheating on ourselves for too long, is to start with some low-hanging fruit. 

What do I mean by that?

I mean, look for things that don't have a huge impact that are low risk, but that you can see some fast wins. 

So here are two ways to help you earn your trust back and give yourself permission when it comes to content creation and marketing. 

First, we've spoken about this one a lot, but it's decide where you should be for your marketing, which platforms work for you. 

I won't go into great detail about this here because I've talked about it many times before, but it's really time to get serious about the platforms that you use to share your content.

Where do you need to give yourself to the permission to get off some of the platforms that you just can't sustain anymore?

• For example, are you not seeing traction on Instagram?
• Would a Pinterest strategy work better for you to create more sticky, longer lasting content so that you could maybe drive people from there to your YouTube channel?
• Is Instagram just too much of a turn for you?
• Where do you need to give yourself permission to go all in?

Where can you give yourself permission to let go? Where can you give yourself permission to go all in?

Maybe it's time to go all in on that email list you've been building slowly, but you really haven't reached out to them.

Commit to sending them a weekly email and give yourself permission to share offers with them that will pay you. 

What do you need to do to move the needle and give yourself permission with some low-hanging fruit? 

The second thing you can do with your content just decides to say less.

I know you're an expert.
I know you have a lot to say, and I know your audience has quite a lot to learn in order to get the results they're looking for. 

But no matter how much you share, if you're getting very little traction and it doesn't matter whether it's emails or podcasts or videos, but you're not getting the engagement that you're looking fo it's time to really think about…

1. how to say less
2. how to be more to the point
3. how to make things more digestible for your audience and your content

Rather than spending time researching LinkedIn hashtags or doubling down on your Pinterest strategy or spending hours creating Reels, what if you just really focused in on using the exact right words and saying less to your audience so that they can really absorb it?

Now, what I find in this realm is that the biggest problem with people saying too much? 

First of all, they're firehosing their audience and they're trying to tell them everything in one email, one podcast, one post. 

The second thing is that they're not using their audience's words. 

Next week I'm going to talk much more deeply about how to use the right words for your specific audience to stay out of content burnout.

But if you think you're saying too much and you're not using their words, that's the second place that you can really start to hone your content and get more traction and give yourself permission to do some low-hanging fruit there.

Okay, so for this week, I just want you to be honest with yourself. 

We're all about staying out of burnout. 

So do you seek permission from others before making a decision? 

That's the first thing I want you to admit to yourself to have a conversation in your mind about is that keeping you from what you really want to have be or do? 

And then third, where can you start taking some baby steps to practice earning your own trust?

Now, whether the outcome is good or bad, it's inconsequential. 

What we're trying to do here is get you to trust yourself. 

So if you do something and it doesn't work, that's an “A-ha moment”!

“Oh, that doesn't work. I can let go of that thing.”

If you do something and it does work, great, do more of that. But you don't have to be perfect.

Having the perfect outcomes to give yourself permission. 

Constant permission seeking is burning you out and right now we need your energy. 

We need your words.
We need your content.
Your audience needs your expertise. 

So permission granted to grant yourself permission. 

Now, if you need help with your content because it's just not easy for you and it's not sustainable. 

Join us over in the Content Creator Studio every week. 

We are really honing in on actually getting your content done.

There's a little bit of learning, a lot of doing, and that's really what most people need, so we can customize it for you so that you can get your content confidence up and get yourself out into the world. 

You can find us at https://www.jenliddy.com/studio  and join before the end of the year because I know that you could use some help getting this content overwhelmed out of your brain.