What to do when someone’s talking shit about you…

I have to admit…

I was an uncool 80s kids because I couldn’t have Jordache jeans. Certainly not Guess? jeans either. Nor was I allowed clogs or parachute pants.

Can you believe that shit? My parents - with four kids & no money - had ZERO time for my nonsense.

They didn’t get that my reputation DEPENDED on these things!

I mean, Maaaaaaahhhhhhhmmmmm, come ON! People are gonna think I’m uncool, poor, and not worth spending time with.

The irony is, it was me who thought I was uncool, poor, and not worth spending time with. That’s where the problem really lived.

Why am I sharing the sad realities of my childhood as a fashion victim?

Because…Character vs. Reputation.

Reputation is who people think you are.  Character is who you think you are.

Guess which one you have control over?  ;)

I spent my life worrying about what people thought of me that it kept me from really knowing what I thought of me!

That’s a sucky place to spend a lot of time. In my 20s & 30s, I overspent to make up for not having those Jordache jeans in 1981. And got deeply into debt.

I wish I’d understood the difference between reputation and character then.

You can’t control your reputation. Here’s why: there will always be someone who doesn’t like you. Who doesn’t think you’re the greatest.

Someone who’s talking shit about you.

You have zero control over that. You can only control how you respond to that.

But you can’t stop people from thinking bad thoughts or saying bad things.

It’s 100% out of your control - and that’s good news! Here’s why: it’s very freeing to know that all you can do is control how YOU show up in the world!

We have zero control over anyone else’s behavior, thoughts, feelings. Which means we have zero control over our reputation.

But you have 100% control over your character! WHOO HOO!!

Who do you want to show up as? Who do you want to be?

Get present with yourself and listen to what shows up.

What actions do you need to take? What thoughts do you need to change?

Get out of the past. Stop worrying about the future. And decide who you want to be.

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Enjoy the freedom that understanding the difference brings you!

Xo,
Jen