What To Do When the Rules are Constantly Changing
It’s not an exaggeration to say that a year ago, I was afraid of Instagram.
Do you use Instagram?
Personally, I was loath to get on another social media platform. I’m a Facebook user and like it to connect with people, gather information, & share my content.
But I GROANED when I thought about Instagram. It’s visual - and I am not. I just didn’t GET it.
HONESTLY, I didn’t wanna get it. I was afraid of it because it made me feel like a moron.
Once I acknowledge my nonsense, I’m generally willing to work through it. Which I did.
I asked for help, dug in, took a course, & understood Instagram.
BOOM. DONE.
Right?
Let me paint a picture of Instagram in 2018: Beautifully curated photos of clean desks, steaming cups of coffee, and an iPhone with a set of ear buds attached.
Your photo grid painstakingly & artfully presented…
Everything was whites, blues, pinks. ‘Clean’ & ‘modern’ branding.
We learned to make our feeds look beautiful, clean, & modern. Curated is the WORD! Cultivated carefully.
You wouldn’t post something unplanned or messy because it would mess up the look of your grid!
Can you see it in your head as I describe it?
SO MANY RULES. Follow them. Win at Instagram. The end.
But wait - it’s not the end. Because the geniuses behind Facebook & Instagram keep changing it up. They add in new features, algorithms, blahdy blah blah.
Constantly changing rules are maddening. Frustrating. Overwhelming.
(It’s what it used to feel like to play a game with my then-toddler, who used to not only MAKE UP the rules, but also change them mid-game).
Here’s the thing: the users of these social media platforms keep changing it up, too. And they have a lesson to teach me that I didn’t know I needed to learn.
I’ll admit - what I’m about to share with you made me roll my eyes. Groan inwardly.
Hang with me: you’ll appreciate where this is going.
So - you know the generation behind Millenials? They’re called Generation Z - born in the mid-90s through the early 2000s, and they’ve been using the internet pretty much since they were born.
Think about that - they’ve never known a world without cell phones. Any question has always been able to be answered immediately via The Google. They are true digital natives.
What’s most interesting is how fearless Gen Z is. They have opinions, know what’s going on around them, and are making up their own rules.
Today, I read an Atlantic article about how that generation is using Instagram right now.
Gen Z doesn’t give A Flying Flick about the rules. Your damned curation. Your staged photos. They say SCREW YOU to the perfectly-colored background wall.
They’re changing up the rules of how to use social media.
In fact, the article cited a high school girl named Joana who has 444,000 followers.
Four hundred, forty-four thousand. Yes, you read that right.
Here’s the best part: She’s posted a mere 41 posts.
Her bio reads:
I must admit, I was a little stung when I clicked over to check out the evidence the article offered. I’m over here offering deep help & tools. I show up every day with good shit. I’m thinking, “My stuff can help you get where you want to go!”
And at this writing, I’ve got 707 followers! (Believe me: I’m thrilled for every single one of them!)
Joana? Well. She burps. Posts quirky pics. Wearing the absolute worst unique clothing you’ve ever seen.
And Joana is winning the internet. With 41 pithy posts.
I’ll admit, my eyes rolled WAY back in my head,
I groaned a little inside,
And frankly, I wondered how she did it. Of course I asked myself, “What does she know that I don’t? What’s her trick?”
My brain started spinning, worrying about this trend. I like my photos. I don’t want to wear unflattering clothes in selfies with curt captions.
I panicked a bit.
Also, to be frank, I wanted to scream at this ABSOLUTE BULLSHIT.
And then I checked myself and thought, you know what? GOOD FOR HER.
I mean - I don’t even pretend to understand the way the world works anymore, but this young woman is MAKING WAVES.
You know what she’s doing? She’s MAKING HER OWN DAMN RULES.
After reading the article, some readers may scramble and say, “OMG. I need to stop with my beautiful, professional photos. I need to not give A Fluck and just start posting pics of me with my tongue hanging out and my hair undid.”
Maybe some people will be inspired to post more pics in unflattering outfits in unflattering positions.
(I recently posted a double-chin pic of my face because I forgot that after 40 it’s NOT a good idea to take a selfie from BELOW…and I got a lot of love for that pic. Maybe there’s something to this. Hmmm.)
If you want to - give it a try.
The rules are changing so fast, my friend. Why not try to make your own rules?
I’m learning that’s kinda the best way to deal with this whole thing of - you know - life.
Three years ago, when I left my first business, I decided to take what I’d learned as a teacher, a business owner, and a personal development professor and mash ‘em all together.
I looked around and saw that a LOT of my friends & clients - business women running their businesses like hobbies - needed some grounding.
Someone to say, “Hey! You said you wanted THIS. Can I help you get it?”
Someone to hold their hand sometimes and someone to kick their ass sometimes.
I made up a job. I called it Accountability Coaching.
No - I did not go to Life Coach school.
Yes - I suffered a GREAT deal of Imposter Syndrome around this.
I kept making up my own rules. As my business grew, I changed the rules.
Changed what I offered. Changed who I help. 10X-ed my pricing.
Made a LIVING doing something that 3 years ago did not exist in my life.
Do I struggle with making up my own rules? Of course! I’m German and I love rules deep down in my ancestral soul!
And Imposter Syndrome always has me asking, “Who are you to make up your own damn rules?”
And no, having two Master’s Degrees does not ease the Imposter Syndrome. But I got my clients results. And getting my clients RESULTS did ease the doubt.
Does it piss off people who have more trainings & certifications than me that I take action & make shit up? Of course, it does.
I judge myself just like you do. And I have fear.
Yes, yes. I am scared. I am scared all the time and I do it anyway.
I know you have fear too! Fear doesn’t go away - you just learn how to manage it more quickly and easier.
So, I make up my own rules. In the beginning of my business, I was helping anyone with a goal, and I watched them change their lives.
Now? I work solely with women who want to launch or boost their business.
And when I need to, I change up the rules to work in my favor.
My point is this: yes, there are best practices in business. And in life. And in Instagram.
(And in choosing flattering clothes, by the way, but I digress.)
And then there are trends.
But you ultimately have to do what feels right in your SOUL.
I ask my clients all the time after we make a decision together, “Does your brain like this?”
THEY KNOW. They always KNOW the answer.
They just usually haven’t taken the time to stop and listen to their brains.
What is it you REALLY WANT?
You KNOW. You already know.
Have you admitted it yet?
Are you waiting for perfection? Are you waiting for permission?
Are you waiting for the rules to change so that they fit who YOU are?
Stop doing that because you’ll be waiting forever.
As much as it may pain you, take a cue from Gen Z.
Clearly - they are embracing their imperfection! Their self-ness. Their selfie-ness.
They’re posting pics of themselves in ugly clothes, unflattering poses, and weird filters.
I think the lesson here is: You get to be you - and how do YOU want to do that?
Your choice.
Move forward. Or stay stuck. But know that’s YOUR choice.
Aren’t you sick of it already? Sick of the perfection. Of waiting for the perfect moment?
IT DOES NOT EXIST.
Make your own rules.
Need help with it? That’s my specialty: I teach you how to take the existing rules & make ‘em your own!
PS: Read the article here - and enjoy the nonsense of today’s world!
