Why don’t you have what you want?
Most of us chalk it up to not having the time.
Life’s busy. The to-do list is looooong.
I used to act like the longer my to-do list was, the more honorable I was.
- Was. Busy.
Maybe you’ve heard that saying, “I’m busy” is a choice - but my clients don’t really believe that when they find me.
They’ve not yet learned that it’s the THINKING “I’m busy” that creates overwhelm in our lives.
Being busy comes from what’s going on in your MIND - if you want to change
…what your day looks like -
…what your calendar looks like…
…that panicky, graspy, worried & anxious FEELING that comes along with being BUSY…
Then you must change your relationship with TIME.
In other words, we have to change how we THINK about time in order to have MORE TIME.
This requires us to consider two deep questions:
- FIRST: What would you DO if you weren’t so BUSY?
- SECOND: Who would you BE if you weren’t so BUSY?
Those are two VERY different questions - the latter is MUCH harder to deal with.
I used the word ‘busy’ as my badge of honor for most of my life. When I started working on myself a LONG time ago, the question of “Who would I BE if I weren’t busy” really plagued me.
I didn’t know. Being BUSY was part of my identity. It was scary to give up that person.
Because honestly, without being busy WHAT WOULD I DO and WHO WOULD I BE?
It took me years to unravel that!
I know I’m not alone.
I have conversations all the time with women who tell me they desperately want coaching & that my program looks like it will give them them “everything they want.”
But they won’t hire me because they “don’t have time” to do the work. It’s a big story they have, and…
I’m not here to argue or convince them they need me.
But I know 1000% that my clients wind up having TONS more time BACK in their schedule when we work together.
How? Because the very first thing I teach my clients is Time Mastery.
Time Mastery has nothing to do with magic or lists or programs.
It has to do with awareness. It has to do with your mindset.
Then, even when clients do hire me, some of my them resist this work. Why? Because they have a deep-seated belief that if they aren’t busy, they aren’t worthy.
Man - do I GET IT!
Here’s my beliefs that I must be busy to be valuable came from:
As a kid, the more work you did, the higher on the food chain you were in my house.
We had four kids, two parents, a dog & endless guinea pigs - they kept dying -living in a teeny tiny house. There was plenty to keep us BUSY.
If you rested, you were “lazy”. If you wanted to maintain an honorable mention at the dinner table, then you kept BUSY>
I’d stupidly wait around to get praise for my chores, which inevitably meant I hadn’t done them to the proper specifications & had to re-do them.
This made me MISERABLE but got me points for being a ‘hard worker’.
My sister, on the other hand, would haphazardly do her chores, yell, “I’m DOOOOOONE! I’m going out to ride my biiiiiike!” And 30 minutes later, inspection would show that she had done a ‘half-assed job’ and was ‘so lazy’.
Guess which of us had a funner childhood?
Guess which knows how to HAVE FUN now, as an adult?
My addiction to “staying busy” made me look good in the eyes of the world.
I’m an achiever. I got great grades. Later, I moved up the work food-chain quickly.
But I have no idea HOW to enjoy things! How to experience pleasure or JOY.
In fact, for most of my life I thought pleasure and joy were complete BULLSHIT.
My addiction to staying busy gave me WORTH.
I’ve since realized there’s GOT to be a better way to feel WORTHY.
Ironically, the work I do now is learn how to STOP achieving and ENJOY more…
Which I’m finding actually brings me a TON more success.
AND gives me a TON MORE TIME in my day.
But here’s the thing, and maybe you can relate:
Staying busy was my badge of honor. It’s what made me feel valid & useful in the world.
I can see it as far back as elementary school, when I’d finish a test early. Instead of pulling out one my Beverly Cleary novels for my reading pleasure, I’d start the homework.
In college, I had some incredibly shitty jobs in food preparation. But when all the pizzas had been made and all the cleaning had been done, and there was nothing left to do, there I was, still polishing those shiny stainless steel tables.
Still waiting for my medal. Waiting for my boss to notice.
I mean - being busy can become a sickness. This went on through my 20s, 30s, and much of my 40s.
Until I realized that I was keeping myself busy to avoid some really deep shit inside my brain, I filled my days & nights with endless STUFF TO DO.
I won’t go into details, but you can imagine what overworking looks like.
You know what OVER-DOING feels like.
The good news is, it doesn’t have to be this way.
You don’t have to go down in FLAMES before you make a change.
If you see yourself in what I’ve shared today, that’s a GREAT first step.
Can you admit it? Can you say to yourself, “I am too busy. There has got to be another way”?
Once you do that, there are some other steps to get OUT OF THE BUSY.
But you’re not there yet. I’ll discuss those in future blogs, I promise.
All I want you to do this week is notice where you’re probably doing something you DO NOT NEED TO DO.
Notice when you feel TOO BUSY.
Are you too busy to get shit done? To make your dream a reality?
To bring your idea to life?
If you’re dying to make your idea a reality but have no time to implement, my online group coaching program is PERFECT for you.
The Idea Space is designed for busy women who want to have more TIME so they can achieve their GOAL.
I break it down into bite-sized chunks - and I promise you’ll get MORE time back in your day that you didn’t even know existed.
It’s affordable and you get access to a coach to help you overcome the STUCK and …
go from Idea to Implementation (without confusion, overwhelm, or isolation)!
There’s a lot of support - without spending a lot of time or money!
You can read about it - but I’d LOVE to talk to you about it.
It’s time to create MORE TIME. I can show you how.
Even my most “disbelieving” clients are shocked at the time they gain back in their lives!
You ready?
