Why I’m Sorry Was Never Enough
“I’m sorry” should be enough, right?
But when I’m pissed off, “I’m sorry” is simply NOT ENOUGH for me!
Turns out, I’m the worst person to apologize to.
Let me back up. I’d noticed a horrible little pattern -
When my family or friends offered me simple, direct apologies, I wasn’t satisfied.
Give me a simple, “I’m sorry”, and I’d leave feeling more irritated… and petty.
Seemed I NEEDED MORE.
(What a jerk, right? I know. But stay with me. I promise I’ll get better.)
A-searching I went & found that just like there are different Love Languages, we also have varied preferences for apologies!
HMPH! THIS IS HELPFUL INFORMATION! Why doesn’t anyone teach us this stuff in grade school?
In my research, I found that I prefer the other person to acknowledge the transgression & what they plan to do so it won’t happen again.
(I know. I’m a peach. 🍑 Isn’t my husband lucky?)
ANYWAY~! The whole point is…when you KNOW something about yourself that makes it easier to be in relationship with you,
Don’t others deserve to KNOW?
Weirdly, that’s not the way humans work. It’s DEFINITELY not the way most LEADERS work.
This month, I’m focused on how to help us become better leaders through self-awareness! You’re welcome ;)
Instead of saying exactly what we need, we expect people to figure it out over years & years of mistakes & hurts & assumptions & frustrations & trial & error.
Very inconvenient. Very inefficient. Right?
You have a special, personalized, complex operating manual. So do I. So why don’t we share it with the people around us who could benefit from having it?!
Imagine how much better relationships would be if your partner - or employees - or boss - or kids - KNEW WHAT YOU NEEDED.
Is that too weird of a concept? To actually tell people this stuff?
Maybe. But somewhere in your life, you are a leader, influencing other people, gaining their trust, being responsible to them.
And those people who you lead…they want to make you happy. They want to be happy too!
How can we be BETTER LEADERS, for ourselves and for others?
COMMUNICATE our invisible manuals.
Let people know what our strengths are. What our needs & preferences are.
Let ‘em know where we need support!
Are you looking to be a better leader - for yourself…your staff…your business…
Or even your family?
Then you’ll want to listen to my conversation with Executive Coach Laura Prisc.
We broke down how to be better leaders…no matter what or WHO we’re leading.
She teaches us how to focus on our strengths…how to be more effective e’ery day.
And how to communicate our personal operating manual clearly, without it being WEIRD.
She says the #1 mistake we’re all making as leaders is not giving people the shorthand to know us.
OMG. I love that so much, so I’ll say it again:
We’re not giving people the shorthand to know us.
Pssst - back to “I’m sorry.” Turns out, when I shared what I need with my hubs, he nodded. And simply does that now.
All I had to do was make my personal operating manual visible to him.
Been a game-changer.
What would YOUR life be like if you could share your strengths & preferences with the important stakeholders in your everyday life?
Listen to my podcast with Laura & learn how to avoid conflict and save time - making EVERYTHING EASIER for yourself - and everyone around you.
Xo, Jen
