Your visibility suffers when people are judging you
I don’t think of Kerri as a “friend”, but I’m pretty sure she thinks of me as one.
She commends endlessly about the pictures I post in my marketing because I use a LOT of photos of myself.
I am my brand, after all.
There’s teasing about my photo shoots, having my face constantly in her social feed, the way I pose, & what I wear.
And man - that is definitely a sore area for me.
I am self-conscious about photos - well, I used to be - and don’t always love the way I look in pictures.
Spending too much energy on Kerri & her comments could REALLY take me down a dark place.
Instead, I think about WHO SHE IS.
An insecure woman struggling with anxiety.
A terrible communicator in her own relationships.
A fairly unhappy person in general.
Working two or three jobs, struggling to make ends meet.
She probably looks at me and thinks, “Who the hell does Jen think she is?”
She probably wishes she had more confidence.
She definitely wishes she made more money.
I bet she would love to love herself but has no idea what that means.
How does her judgment actually affect my life? She literally has ZERO power over me, unless I allow her to.
Worrying that “People might judge me” is the reason many women stay hidden.
And that is Visibility Lie #2.
You worry “What if I put myself out there & they think,
Who the hell is she?
What a farce.
I can’t believe she’s doing that.
You worry people might talk shit about you.
The antidote to this lie? Remember there is no MIGHT.
TRUTH: people WILL judge you.
They’ll judge you for being broke. Then for being loaded.
They’ll judge you for looking put together - then for not bothering!
They’ll judge you for leaving your job. Then for staying.
Someone’s always out there judging you - no matter what you do or what you look like.
Are you hiding in your business? Afraid of visibility?
People are judging you for that.
Do you show up, present every day - reaching out?
Yes, they’re judging you for that, too.
Worrying about judgment is a literally 100% no-win situation.
Ok Ok - you get this logically.
Now, what do we DO about it?
I could say, “Don’t care”. But that’s not realistic. Many of us DO care.
This antidote two parts:
- Expect people to judge us. Of course they do because that’s what people DO.
I take the energy out of this problem by not making it a problem - it’s simply IS.
If someone judges me, of course, they do. If they don’t, fantastic. Bonus points.
- Think about who these judgers are. Are they the people knocking it out of the park, successful beyond all measure? Are they the mentors you look up to?
PROBS NOT. They are usually the Kerris of the world. Struggling so much in their own minds that the only salve is taking others down.
Not everyone is going to like us.
PSST: We don’t like everyone, either!
Not everyone will like you being visible.
Not everyone will be able to - or want to - cheer you on.
Work on your OWN self-judgment. That’s the only judgment worthy of your time.
You’ll never convince EVERYONE that you’re great! Or worthy.
So why bother trying?
If this resonates with you - and you struggle with how others judge us, especially for how we LOOK, you’ll want to listen to this week’s podcast.
Teddey Hicks helps women stop wasting time hating their bodies & battling food so they can be more confident - and earn more money in their businesses!
In our podcast, we talked about why it’s so hard to want to be VISIBLE in our businesses - and life.
Teddey shares ways she helps people live the life they’ve been dreaming of - without having to lose a pound, change their hair, or even do one damn thing differently.
How NICE would that be?
Want some of that? Listen in to my conversation with Teddey. I promise, you’ll walk away with some strategies to help you
stop judging YOURSELF - the worst judger of all.
MUCH love to you,
Xo, Jen
